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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827970">and up rolls the riot van</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Gen, References to Arctic Monkeys, kind of, no beta we die liek jaosn, the entire fic is just one very long arctic monkeys reference</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:07:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>he's rough. he's violent. he's got too much aggression. he's the best writer out of the entire little shit show of a 'family' that they have. he's bruce's least favorite, and he's the black sheep of gotham's vigilante scene. whatever people say jason todd is, that's what jason todd is not</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barbara Gordon &amp; Jason Todd, Jason Todd &amp; Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd &amp; Damian Wayne, Jason Todd &amp; Dick Grayson, hinted one sided Roy Harper/Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>150</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and up rolls the riot van</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>lately, whenever i listen to whatever people say i am, that's what i'm not by the arctic monkeys, the entire album gives me very heavy jason todd vibes. discussed this on twitter with a friend, and decided to do this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i. <em><span><strong>the</strong></span><strong> view from the afternoon</strong></em></p><p>
  <span>Bruce said that Jason needed to learn to be disappointed. That if you anticipate everything, you will be disappointed. You will get angry when you can't get the bad guys the first time, or when you can't save that person the first time. He gets Jason's eagerness, he gets his excitement, but he knows, just knows, that if he keeps getting excited about everything, if he expects the best for everything, then he's going to be disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Jason is too bright, too young, too eager, for something like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's why when Bruce finds him after a botched robbery, that he feels his heart strings being tugged at a bit. They had been trying to save a kidnapping victim, but it had been gone the wrong way, and the victim ended up dead and the guy who kidnapped them would get away with it. Jason thinks too many criminals in Gotham get away with stuff. Even if Batman catches them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Always expect the worst, Jason." Bruce has a hand clamped on Jason's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason isn't going to do that though. He's going to try and anticipate the best -- and deal with the consequences later. If you aim for the best ending, you're going to get the best ending, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He learned the hard way, that if you aim for the best constantly, you'll end up compared to others too much</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then you end up dead.</span>
</p><p>ii. <strong><em>i</em><em> bet you look good on the dance floor</em></strong></p><p>
  <span>He's awkward around pretty girls, Jason won't even lie. He doesn't have the type of smoothness that Dick does. He's seen Dick charm his way out of so many things, and the last time they hung out, Dick was telling him about the pretty alien that he's been seeing, and when he shows Jason pics of her, Jason is kind of amused, because she's got orange skin, and red curly hair that goes all the way down to her butt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Dick's got this look in his eyes when he talks about her that it almost makes Jason wish he could run off date an alien who is taller than him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he doesn't, because he's stuck in Gotham, which is fine because there are pretty girls in Gotham. (Pretty </span>
  <em>
    <span>people</span>
  </em>
  <span>, really).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's when he meets Dick's friends -- well one of them, because they're in town on business with their dad. Civilian stuff, their dad is nearly as rich as Bruce but an even bigger playboy, and he's gotta talk to Bruce about some billionaire stuff. They have dinner at some fancy place in the nicer part of Gotham -- Bruce did it on purpose so that they could get in the tabloids, about Queen Industries CEO and Wayne Enterprises CEO meeting or something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid, Roy, as his dad introduced him, seems so disinterested in the entire thing, but he keeps making eye contact with Jason and he's a bit older, which for some reason makes Jason think he's over thinking things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spills water down the front of his shirt either way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>iii. </span>
  <strong>
    <em>fake tales of san francisco</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it really better there?" Dick's in town -- he had gotten in an argument with Bruce </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and takes Jason with him to go get a milkshake from this one diner that they both like. It's open late all the time, and they have the thickest milkshakes in town.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have no idea." Dick has a mouthful of fries, but they're eating out at a diner and not at the manor so Alfred can't scold him for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm gonna be there soon." Jason and Bruce had been fighting more, and Jason wanted to do his own thing like Dick was doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're going to find your own, it might even be here in Gotham." Dick laughs a bit, but he's told Jason before. He has to find his own, he can't be in Dick's spot again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn't matter either way, because Dick fucking lied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason doesn't find it in Gotham. He doesn't find it at all. He's dead before he gets the chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>( He finds his San Francisco later. Years later, after literally being through hell and back. And it's in the Caribbean with the guy he embarrassed himself in front of when he was a teenager, and the orange skinned alien. )</span>
</p><p><em>iv</em>. <em><strong>dancing shoes</strong></em></p><p>
  <span>When he's back. Back in Gotham. No one says his name. They all act like it's some type of curse word or something. It's always Red Hood. Then again, he never really has anything 'personal' to do with them when he's in town. He always turns down invitations for team ups, he turns up invitations to go for 'family dinners'. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Dick invites him to them, forwarding him emails about it). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They're not really family </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He's not part of their little fantasy world where they follow around an ashsole who doesn't actually do anything about the criminals, an asshole who manipulates people for his own bidding and makes everyone's lives worse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jason." It's daytime, and he definitely, isn't expecting to run into one of the 'family' during the day time. Dick is always in Bludhaven, he and replacement have nothing to do with each other (as much as Jasoon can have with it). Demon Brat is as much of a night creature as his father, and Blondie wasn't someone he was really on a first name basis with to begin with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What brings you here?" He shouldn't be surprised that she's here, they're in this book store, in one of the 'hipper' parts of town. She's got a few books piled in her lap, and Jason can't help but tilt his head to the side to get a look at the books in her lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I owed Stephanie since her backpack ended up lost." That was an excuse, and coded, because he had heard (well nearly everyone in their 'family' did) about how Blondie's backpack got destroyed in a non-uniformed encounter with Killer Croc.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>( Blondie was too headstrong and tended to just do things on her own, so he shouldn't have been surprised that she had jumped down int he sewers to avoid mid day traffic, like a fucking weirdo. )</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's awkward, seeing Barbara here, and she's in that chair. She's in the chair because of the same fucker who took a crowbar to Jason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they're kindred spirits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You pay for mine, I'll pay for your coffee." He doesn't know what books are hers, and what's Blondie's, and he adds to the books in her lap by adding his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>The Razor's Edge</span>
  </em>
  <span>?" Barbara doesn't even bother to hide rolling her eyes at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You've got </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Age of Innocence</span>
  </em>
  <span> in your lap, and I'm pretty sure that's not on any college reading lists." He ends up behind her chair, giving a push -- he didn't ask permission, but he knows he doesn't really need it when it comes to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talk about books over coffee. Jason doesn't mention that she's the first person from the </span>
  <em>
    <span>family</span>
  </em>
  <span> who had said his name. His real name. Since he's been back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn't mention that he didn't say her name once the entire time.</span>
</p><p>v. <em><span>you</span><span> probably couldn't see for the lights but you were staring straight at me.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>It's awkward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason agreed to go to a family dinner, and he pretty much regrets it more than anything else. They talk around him, make small talk with him, and there are so many jokes, and little inside bits, that he doesn't get. He's out of place, he doesn't belong here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>( Bruce doesn't even </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span> at him the entire dinner. And it hurts more than it should. )</span>
</p><p>
  <span>vi</span>
  <em>
    <span>. <strong>still take you home</strong></span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason hates the brat. He's too much like his dad, and makes Jason's hair stand on edge, whenever he encounters the kid -- having ditched his dad during patrol because of some argument or something. Jason always feels responsible too, because there's something that tugs at his heart, because the kid is just as fucked up as the rest of them </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shouldn't be like that, because he is just a kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't stay here." Jason feels like a fucking parent, like he's doing Bruce's job, because the demon brat is in his safe house, and he's got a backpack that has kid shit or whatever in it, and he's demanding that he and Jason work together from now on, and that he live here as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do not see why not, Todd. I have already explained that Brown is with Drake and I can not do a Batgirl and Robin permanent team up, so this is the next best option." When the fuck did Jason become the next best option? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You need to go home. Take your backpack and get the hell out." He's got no patience for this, the kid is too much, and Jason doesn't want to team up with him. They work different ways, no matter what the similarities are between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't make me. You will not be kicking me out just like father did." Is that what this is about? Bruce kicked his </span>
  <em>
    <span>own son</span>
  </em>
  <span> out of his home? How fucked up was he.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bruce kicked you out?" God, if he really did that, Jason was going to give him a piece of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He used no words to do so, but he expressed disappointment with me following a 'letter' the ridiculous school that I attend, and it is clear that he does not want my presence in the manor, so I have left." The kid sounds kind of bitter, and Jason feels for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had had that same feeling back, a long long time ago, when he was younger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"…Come on kid. It's almost time for patrol, and if we run into Batman, and he tells you that he wants you at home, you gotta go back." He's not gonna take the kid back to the manor, but he knows Bruce is going to be looking for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>vii.</span>
  <strong>
    <em> riot van</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason Peter Todd is no stranger to petty crime. He's shoplifted plenty of times before, it's one of the easiest ways to survive when your mom is too strung out and the fridge is empty. No one really expects a little kid to be stealing for himself like this, and even when they do catch him, they don't really mind too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes they do, but usually Jason just runs away from them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, when he gets caught, he hopes that Batman is the one who will catch him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>( One day, his wish is granted, and it's probably the happiest day. )</span>
</p><p>
  <span>viii. <strong>r</strong></span>
  <strong>
    <em>ed light indicates doors are secure</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>The goal was to start a bar fight, and Jason, had had so much fun with this plan. He didn't know why he hadn't worked with them earlier, if this was what hey had wanted him to do. He could always go undercover as a belligerent in a nightclub, and make it so that Blondie and Replacement could get in the back and steal secret files from the club owner or something. Something about a drug run or some shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Either way, Jason had had two Whiskeys on the rocks, and smashed the glass into someone else's face. And it was fun as fuck.</span>
</p><p>vii. <strong><em>mardy bum</em></strong></p><p>
  <span>What exactly was the appeal of being a sad piece of shit? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, but here's Jason, sitting in one of his safe houses, drowning his sorrows in a fucking bottle of fancy whiskey he had stolen from the manor when Alfred wasn't paying attention to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>( He knows Alfred knows. Alfred always knows. )</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's days like these, where he thinks about what went wrong that he ended up here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>viii</span>
  <em>
    <span>. <strong>perhaps vampires is a bit strong but…</strong></span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! You think everyone around you should just follow what you do blindly, on some fucking 'good solider' bullshit!" His voice sounds bitter, and he's in the fucking Batcave, and it makes him angry being here. But she had gone wrong, and Damian is injured, and Jason is furious, because Bruce shouldn't keep sending kids to do his job sometimes, but he keeps doing it and now they're here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really, you're just going to ignore me? Just sit here and ignore me? Your fucking son is </span>
  <em>
    <span>injured</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Bruce, and you can't even have the decency to go comfort him? The fucking kid was crying. Do you know how often he cries? Never. Never in a million years, and yet you can't fucking comfort him." Jason's blood is boiling, he's furious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're fucking ridiculous. You just work people until they're fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span> and then you go on and find another one. You fucking piece of shit."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ix.</span>
  <strong>
    <em> when the sun goes down.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>He's got the most experience with working girls. It's him, then Blondie, Dick, and Duke. Bruce is too mechanical with them, offering pamphlets and condoms. Replacement can't ever look at them, because even though he's dating a million women, he gets too flustered when it comes to them.They like Cass too, but her silence sometimes makes them too uncomfortable. Demon Brat can't ever really say the right thing -- they always feel awkward and ashamed after an encounter with Robin. (For once, he gives him the benefit of the doubt. He knows the kid doesn't mean anything, he's just shit with words.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows the girls though, they trust him, they trust the Red Hood. It might be because they know that if a pimp or a john get too violent, do too much, they will end up nearly dead, and with the mindset to treat their girls better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>( Anyone who works with underage girls </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> end up dead. And the girls end up at St. Catherine's. )</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One time, at a "family" dinner, they end up doing some light work talk -- nothing with names or anything, but it turns awkward. Blondie mentioned how she saw a girl who she actually knew growing up was now 'working' in Crime Alley. It wasn't the first time she had seen it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason commented that he had had the same happen before, and it's too awkward. Sometimes, he and Blondie like making the other's uncomfortable with their childhood. Duke gets in on it every now and then, and Bruce always makes this face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, when they do it, and Bruce makes that face, Jason wonders if Bruce thinks he didn't fail them -- fail him and Blondie. Didn't fail him, in that aspect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>xii. </span>
  <strong>
    <em>from the ritz to the rubble</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>It turns out that the bouncers in Gotham </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> each other, and some of them work together. And that if you start a fight in one night club, they will pull you out of line and you can't get into that club, even though you are there for a case. Not that they know you're there for a case. But they don't need to know that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when this happens, the best thing you can do. Really, the only thing you can do. Start a fight with the bouncer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turns out that it works the exact same way as starting a fight with some random dude at a bar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>xiii. </span>
  <strong>
    <em>a certain romance</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>He's tied to this city. He's tied to this shitty family. No matter how much he leaves, how much he says fuck Gotham, and runs off to be with his own team, he finds himself back here. Back in the manor, with these people. They argue too much, and they're too fucking loud for their own damn good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he's here too. Like always.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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